“Do Not Be Confused by Your Confusion”

Soen Roshi

For most of us our lives seem like a problem which has to be solved. Every day there are new challenges facing us, new mistakes we have to correct. We seek therapists, counselors, and gurus of all kinds in the hope of “figuring out” the best way to deal with the confusion and complication that arises day by day.

Our faith is placed in the rational mind, and yet the more faith we place in it, the more confusion grows. Uncertain about our choices, we blame ourselves for our failures, often wish we’d taken a different road.

“Life is One Continuous Mistake”

Dogen

Don’t Look Backwards or Forwards

Zen practice offers a different way of living. Rather than view something as a mistake, we simply take it as what happened, learn from it and move along. If a child learning to walk never fell down, he wouldn’t know how to get up again. A well know Zen saying reminds us,”

“Fall down seven times, get up eight times.”

We learn how to be fully with each step we take, not looking backwards or forward, just present fully, one hundred percent. This is the way of not second guessing ourselves, or torturing ourselves with the conflict, confusion and remorse that arises and takes the fun, adventure and joy of life away. Each experience is fine, just as it is.

Confusion, too, is just another experience. Rather than allow it to overwhelm us, we see it for what it is. Confusion is natural, inevitable, it arises and departs. When we do not get ensnared by it we release ourselves from demands, images and expectations that have little to do with who we truly are now, or what’s going on in our lives.

Master Hakuin And The Baby

There was a great Zen Master Hakuin who lived in a small hut, doing zazen. He was greatly revered in the village and known as a wise and saintly man.

One day a village girl became pregnant. The father of the baby left town and she was alone and frightened. As she did not know what else to do, she told the entire village that Master Hakuin was the father.

All the townspeople shocked. They stopped bringing food and offerings. Instead of praising Hakuin now they blamed him.

“You are the worst of all beings,” they said.

“Is that so?” replied Hakuin.

The baby was born the village girl brought the child to Hakuin to be cared for.

“This baby is yours,” she said.

“Is that so?” Hakuin said and took the baby gladly.

Hakuin cared for the baby lovingly for several years.

Then, one day, the father of the baby returned to the village and wanted to marry the

mother and take back the child. They told everybody the truth about what happened.

The people were astonished. They all began to praise Master Hakuin and return to his hut with offerings.

“Is that so?” said Master Hakuin.

Soon after that the couple returned for the baby. “Is that so?” Master Hakuin murmured and game them their child lovingly.

Master Hakuin did not see a problem. He accepted all that life brought him. What seems good turns bad, what seems bad turns good. What difference did the villagers praise or blame mean? It is an endless cycle.

Zen Instructions, Koans

Master Hakuin’s experience can be considered a koan, or an instruction. Zen koans are given to students by teachers, and of course by life itself. The question, like life, has no logical answer. It cannot be solved or figured out by the rational mind. And once we stop trying to figure it out, confusion departs, all by itself. The koan awakens another part of ourselves, one that always knows what’s going on and how to respond.

Allow Your Direction To Be Revealed

When working with koans, sit with the koan as though you were a mother hen sitting on a nest, keeping your baby chicks warm. Don’t interfere, or push them. Just keep the chicks warm. At the right moment, when the chick is ready it will break through its shell, and come to life all by itself. What a fantastic way to live life! Where is the confusion then?

“Sitting quietly,

doing nothing

Spring comes and

The grass grows

By itself.”

Brenda Shoshanna, Ph.d. is an award winning author, speaker, psychologist and long term Zen practitioner. She offers a weekly podcsat, Zen Wisdom for Your Everyday Life, now focusing on Zen and Relationships. Her most recent workshop is Zen (The Secret Practice of Love). The Simple Laws of Love. Next workshop Sunday, Feb 13th on Zoom.EST. www.simplelawsoflove.com